Sex-negative messages don’t keep people from having sex. They keep people from having good sex. They keep people from having pride in their sexuality, from sexual self-awareness. They keep people from asking questions about sex, and communicating with their partners. They discourage experimentation. They blur the lines between consensual sex and rape by framing all sex as an undifferentiated mass of “bad.
Sex-negative messages don’t keep people from having sex. They keep people from having good sex. They keep people from having pride in their sexuality, from sexual self-awareness. They keep people from asking questions about sex, and communicating with their partners. They discourage experimentation. They blur the lines between consensual sex and rape by framing all sex as an undifferentiated mass of “bad.
Effects of Gender and Psychosocial Factors on ‘‘Friends with Benefits’’ Relationships Among Young Adults
Jesse Owen and Frank D. Fincham
Arch Sex Behav (2011) 40:311–320
Friends with benefits relationships (FWB) are a blend of friendship and physical intimacy outside of a committed romantic relationship. This study examined young adults’ (n= 889) engagement in, and reactions to, a FWB relationship in the past year based on their gender, psychological distress, alcohol use, and relationship attitudes. Men (54.3%) were more likely than women (42.9%) to report at least one FWB relationship and both men and women reported that FWB relationships were associated with more positive emotional reactions than negative ones although this difference was larger for men. Greater alcohol use was related to engaging in a FWB relationship and this relationship was stronger for women. Further, thoughtfulness about relationship decisions moderated the relationship between alcohol use and engaging in FWB relationships, and again this moderation effect was stronger for women than men.Young adults with more psychological distress and who felt constrained in the FWB relationship were more likely to report negative emotional reactions. Implications for psychoeducational programs and future research are offered.
Sex Differences in Approaching Friends with Benefits Relationships
Justin J. Lehmiller, Laura E. VanderDrift and Janice R. Kell
JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 48(2–3), 275–284, 2011
This research explored differences in how men and women approach ‘‘friends with benefits’’ (FWB) relationships. Specifically, this study examined sex differences in reasons for beginning such involvements, commitment to the friendship versus sexual aspects of the relationship, and partners’ anticipated hopes for the future. To do so, an Internet sample of individuals currently involved in FWB relationships was recruited. Results indicated many overall similarities in terms of how the sexes approach FWB relationships, but several important differences emerged. For example, sex was a more common motivation for men to begin such relationships, whereas emotional connection was a more common motivation for women. In addition, men were more likely to hope that the relationship stays the same over time, whereas women expressed more desire for change into either a full-fledged romance or a basic friendship. Unexpectedly, both men and women were more committed to the friendship than to the sexual aspect of the relationship. Although some additional similarities appeared, the findings were largely consistent with the notion that traditional gender role expectations and the sexual double standard may influence how men and women approach FWB relationships.
Sex on the Brain?: An Examination of Frequency of Sexual Cognitions as a Function of Gender, Erotophilia, and Social Desirability
Terri D. Fisher, Zachary T. Moore, and Mary-Jo Pittenger
JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 49(1), 69–77, 2012
It is commonly believed that men think about sex much more often than do women, but the empirical evidence in this area is fairly weak. By means of a golf tally counter, 283 college students kept track of their thoughts pertaining to food, sleep, or sex for one week. Males reported significantly more need-based cognitions overall, but there was no significant interaction between sex of participant and type of cognition recorded. Therefore, although these young men did think more about sex than did young women, they also thought more about food and sleep. In contrast, a retrospective estimated frequency of need-based cognitions obtained at the start of the study revealed a sex difference in sexual cognitions, but not thoughts about eating or sleeping. Erotophilia and sexual desirability responding were significant predictors of frequency of sexual cognitions for women, but not for men. Overall, erotophilia was a better predictor of sexual cognition than was sex of participant. Taken as a whole, the results suggest that, although there may be a sex difference in sexual cognitions, it is smaller than is generally thought, and the reporting is likely influenced by sex role expectations.
Let’s start with the definition of sex.
In this blog, the use of the word “sex” will be a blanket term encompassing all genital-involved acts. We’re talking vaginal penetration, anal penetration, oral stimulation, rubbing…if genitalia is somehow involved in the behavior, it is sex. To avoid confusion, however, specificity will be imperative. This understanding of the definition of blanket-term sex, as well as my promise of distinctive identification, will aid in our future discourse.
Welcome!
Thank you for following. This blog is dedicated to the rarely-taken-seriously, often-unfunded, and frequently-disparaged field of research in sexuality. I firmly believe in the importance of a strong understanding and appreciation of your own sexual being. The act of sex itself, the nearly-limitless types of sexual behaviors, and your very identity as a sexual person are not things of which to be ashamed.
I understand that to some readers this blog may cause discomfort, stir up negative feelings, or entirely offend. These reactions are normal within a society that (generally speaking) discourages, reprimands, and ridicules sexual openness and discourse. I invite you, the reader, to question this approach to sexuality as you read current research, and expand your sexual intelligence.
I hope that you find this blog to be open, nonjudgmental, and safe; my goal is to create a forum in which the reader can learn about sexuality without feeling embarrassed in wanting to know more.
And so begins the journey!